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Are you doing enough to protect the Gabe in your life? By joining the Commission as an individual member, you are taking a solemn vow to replace mockery with mentorship and sarcasm with support.
This membership grants you official status as a Certified Friend of Gabe (C.F.G.). It serves as verifiable proof that you are an ally to Gabes everywhere, granting you limited immunity from retaliation should a "Gabe joke" accidentally slip out.
What You Get (The Perks):
Digital Certificate of Good Standing: A high-resolution PDF suitable for framing or waving in a Gabe’s face during an argument.
The "Bash-Pass" Waiver: Grants the holder the right to make exactly one (1) Gabe-related pun per calendar year without social penalty.
Priority Access to Truth: The ability to email the Commission to settle disputes (e.g., "Is Gabe actually right about this Star Wars fact?").
Fine Print:
Membership can be revoked if the member is found initiating a nickname involving the words "Goober," "Gabey-Baby," or "Gabriel the Angel."
Are you doing enough to protect the Gabe in your life? By joining the Commission as an individual member, you are taking a solemn vow to replace mockery with mentorship and sarcasm with support.
This membership grants you official status as a Certified Friend of Gabe (C.F.G.). It serves as verifiable proof that you are an ally to Gabes everywhere, granting you limited immunity from retaliation should a "Gabe joke" accidentally slip out.
What You Get (The Perks):
Digital Certificate of Good Standing: A high-resolution PDF suitable for framing or waving in a Gabe’s face during an argument.
The "Bash-Pass" Waiver: Grants the holder the right to make exactly one (1) Gabe-related pun per calendar year without social penalty.
Priority Access to Truth: The ability to email the Commission to settle disputes (e.g., "Is Gabe actually right about this Star Wars fact?").
Fine Print:
Membership can be revoked if the member is found initiating a nickname involving the words "Goober," "Gabey-Baby," or "Gabriel the Angel."